Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Doesn't every Warrior Princess sleep on an embroidered pillow?

At my house, the swift warrior princess sleeps anywhere she wants!  And lately, that's been some pretty odd places.  When I get out of that darn cone of shame, I try to slip away and  sleep where no one can find me.
Behind the sofa worked for a day or two.   In the closet was good, till I got confused and ...ummm...pee'd on the quilt she had stacked in there.   And a couple of evening gowns.  And a shoe.  And this reallllly fugly purse that just needed to go.  Basically, anything of HERS, since she is the one strapping me in that THING.

Last night I wouldn't sleep in the big bed, even though she left off the cone thingy.   I first tried the bench at the foot of the bed.  Then I went into my crate and re-arranged everything and humphed at her and turned my back on the world.   When they finally got to sleep, I moved under the bed and found me a nice place up where SHE hides the good whiskey from the Idiot Marine and his buddies.  She doesn't care if they drink the cheap stuff,  but says there is just something wrong with mixing Diet Coke and premium whiskey.   Everything was going just fine until early this morning when I decided to clean the bottles where dribbles had run down.  Apparently Ms. Light Sleeper heard the bottles clinking around and got suspicious.   It took her a whole handful of cookies to coax me out from under the bed.

Now, in this photo, what you can't see is the coffee table.  It is metal and glass topped, with bands running around it on all sides.  It makes the perfect escape hatch.  If she comes near me with that THING, I can dart under the table and she can't get me.  It's big enough I can dart from side to side and it's heavy enuff she can't pick it up easily.  I don't normally sleep on the floor. That's where Puffy the ancient sleeps and I am sooooo above all that.  I prefer the sofa where I can jump on him if I need to. But she's pretty quick for a woman of that age, and can usually catch me up there.  

So for now, the swift warrior princess is keeping her options open and has a clear escape plan in place. There's just so much low calorie kibble and humiliating cones a terrier can stand before strange things start happening.   KWIM?

Bonnie the not so wee Scottie 

Monday, March 01, 2010

The Dreaded Cone of Humiliation

I've been attacked by the dreaded cone of humiliation.
Get me out!
Send the biggest bestest chewers and chew me out.

I'm so saaaad. Please help me. 
Not only do I have this awful thingy strapped around my neck, but I've got a hurt toe too.
My nail bed is all swollen and it hurts and I NEEEEED to lick it. 

Not only that, but it smooshes my ears and my pretty beardie.
It's making my lovely Scottie profile look...well..
rather unflattering. 

Please help me!