I am sooooooo flusterated!!!!!

You have nooooo idea! Well, you might if you are female, and you wish it were raining MEN! And I've had to wear those ..those..awful denim pants. So ugly. Even the red ruffle doesn't amuse me anymore. I need a better wardrobe, with something pink and shiny. I need to go SHOPPING! But nooooo...we can't go shopping , because I wish it were raining MEN. Puffer's is too old to do me any good. He just makes me more flustered. I can't go shopping or to the park or to the island. Cuz there might be an undesirable man around. Don't they understand? ALL men are desirable right now! I could care less what kind of man he is....just so he's breathing and can get the job done. Mom won't even walk me on our street anymore. She puts me in the car and takes me down to the grocery store. How embarrassing. She says it causes that cute little King Charles Spaniel up the street to escape and she's afraid he will get hit by a car or something on his quest to come see me. He used to leave me little love notes on the street. But I think his people and my people talk ...so he's not being let out on the street either. Heck, they won't even take me to get my nails and hair done! I'm starting to look scruffy and that's just wrong on so many girlie levels. Ahhwoouut. I wanna go ahhwoout! I feel the urge to tear up something....something of SHE WHO WON'T LET ME DATE...something in the scrap room or the trash can? I wonder if they have an online dating service for dogs?