It's been a while...

...SHE was out of town for a while and SHE took my laptop with her! I think she just needs to get one of her own. This one matches the inside of my ears. It's very important to be matchy-matchy. Us girlies have to keep up our appearances, especially when you are a bearded lady. It's been either too hot for walkies, or too rainy to go out. I've only got to go to the beach ONCE last week. And it was with the Mr. He doesn't let me chase stuff or read pee-mail or rest on the paw-k benches like SHE does. It's more like a forced march. It's just move it out and come back...3 miles in 45 minutes. Now...my wee little legs are only 4 inches long! And he's a full 6 feet tall....I have to take way more steps than he does just to keep up. I've been to the groomers and I am feeling much more civilized. My nails are buffed and my ummm....important parts...are trimmed and squeaky clean. Then I got to hang out with HER friends for an afternoon of girly time. They even let me sit at the table for nibblies. We had wally-melon and sherbert and mojitos. Then it's been RAINING. She says I can't be a true scottie cuz I hate the rain and it's either drizzling all the time in Scotland or fixing to rain. I HATE getting water in my ears! I even have a raincoat but it doesn't help. So I stand under the eaves and refuse to go out. SHE picks me up and carries me out in the yard or down the street, but I just flatten my ears and head back to the house as fast as I can. Silly old Puffers just waddles out and does his bidniz right away. He doesn't mind getting wet and stinky. But his ears don't stand up either...he's gots those hangy down kind. Needless to say there have been some 'mysterious piddling' in the house. I try to blame it on Puffy...he's old and has a weak bladder I say. Not me...and I roll my eyes. But I got caught this morning. SHE reached under and checked my girl bidniz and it was still wet! Note to self....sit down quick after stealth piddling and wipe the evidence off. Can I just say here that I don't appreciate having my private parts invaded by inappropriate touching! Hmphff! I'm not speaking to SHE right now. I think the feeling is mutual though, I heard her muttering something about having to mop the floors twice in one weekend was not endearing myself to her and that she had just cleaned the living room carpet 3 weeks ago and washed all the throw rugs last week. Can I help it if the rugs are more comfy for my bidniz than going outside in the rain? Just let me tell you if SHE had to go outside and squat in the rain, she'd be getting her hiney in the house and hunting a rug lickety split! She even shoved us both in the crates today when she had to run errands and said since she couldn't prove who was doing what, we could both just park ourselves in lockup till she got back. Cruelty I tell you....what Puffy? No...I don't have to tell everyone she gave us treats and a new chew bone....shhhhh....I'm trying to get across the idea that we are mistreated! Puffers is such a snitch!! Well, I need to get some beauty sleep....the Mr. and I are going on a long walk at 6am tomorrow. It's just too hot on the feetsies to go any other time and if you wait till evening....guess what? ....it's RAINING!