Squirrely wrath jaws of death!

SHE's back! And she brought me a FAKE squirrel! I will now demonstrate what one should do with a REAL squirrel, should the joyous occasion present itself.

First you catch it and with a good firm grasp about it's middle......

.... shake it till it stops squirming.

A good hard fast shake, too fast for the flashybox to capture. Then you need to disembowel it.

Roll.....oopsey....dropped it!

Roll .....with it FIRMLY grasped in your teefers.

The squirrely wrath jaws of death!

Right after this photo, SHE had to remove Puffy from my jaws. He came within 2 feet of my new stuffie and I jumped his old bones! SHE had to pick me up off the floor and give me a good shake to make me drop him. Dang it! One of these days when she's not lookin.....I'm gonna have Puff for lunch! Course, he's awfully tough...probably tastes like a rawhide chew bone.

I can't wait to catch up with all the news now that she's back.

Sniffies.....Bonnie

Out of the office....

SHE is going out of town Friday and won't be back till Monday late. Which means.....I bet I get to sleep in the big bed on her side all weekend!!!!! YAY!! I mean, it's me and my Mr. Don't you think he's gonna let me snuggle all weekend? I gots him wrapped around my little paw. SHE is hosting a big old scrappy thingy at Disney through Sunday, then she and her peeps are gonna stay over for the Wine n Foodie Festival. She don't fool me....all this scrappy stuff is just an excuse to party all weekend with her girlie pals. And she's taking my PINK laptoppy so I may not get to check in till late Monday or maybe Tuesday. Ya'll have fun without me, I will be catching up on my beauty sleep in the big soft bed.

Bonnie

Happy Birthday Asta-lischous!

Happy Barkday wishes to Asta...and I guess True Colors Thursday too, since the cake is yellow and blue?

I escapeded today! I shot out the front door and through the screen porch door and all they saw was my wheaten pantyloons flipping outta sight. Of course it was storming which made HER most upset. I even have a 10 foot drag line for just such emergencies and no one was able to snag it!!!! Liberated at last! Make me sleep in a dang crate and I'll show em! Jail Break!!!

I got distracted by the neighbors kitty and she almost got me. hahahaha....zoom zoom. Then I had to stop and tinkle and she almost got me again. The Mr. got the clicker and a bag of treats and I wasn't even tempted. I went under cars, behind hedges, across front porches, just laffin all the way. Finally, when I stopped in the middle of the road to take a dump, she managed to get her big ole foot on the end of my drag line and it has a wee knot so I wasn't able to pull it out from under her. Dratted.

Soaked to the skin, happy as a froggie in a pond....that was sooooo much fun!!! She was huffin n puffin so hard, the Mr was worried she have a heart attack. I guess she needs to start practicin wind sprints if she's gonna keep up with me!

Bonnie, the captured, still FREE in spirit!

Proper Butt Sniffing

Apparently I have been remiss in properly introducing myself. Lets start over. My name is Bonnie MacKinnon Love of Maitlands Kennel. I will be 2 years old in December. I live in Apollo Beach FL, on the bay south of Tampa. With Puffy the snitch. Wait. That's not his real name. You won't beleive what his real name is....it's WOLVERINE. That's what happens when you let an 8 year old boy name you. How embarrasing. His name evolved from Pupster, to Poopster, to Pooper (which is also on his name tag.....snicker) to Puff. At least I get called Princess by the Mr. SHE calls me Thunder Butt. And I don't think she means it in a nice kind of way.


Now, about the bloggie name. It's one SHE had that she wasn't using. She would send emails to friends about once a month regaling them with what she called Bonnie Tales. One of her friends suggested she blog them. Since this bloggie already existed and was dormant, she just started using it and did not change the name as there are links on various spacey places and it was just too complicated to change. You'll notice at first she did the blogging from her point of view, but then noticed most everyone else blogged from their point of view, so now I gets to do the blogging.

So, Lacie, my middle name isn't Scrappy, although that is a good name for me as I am always scrapping her stuff into itty bitty bits. And I did add a bit of info to the profile for Max. He's so cute. It's a shame he's taken. And so far away.


Now for the Puffalump.....

This is Puffy the Ancient. He is 16.5 years old. Mostly blind, mostly deaf, mostly teefless, mostly grumpy all the time. He is a metrosexual guy. Bit HER once when he was young and lost his....well, you know, THAT part. He has resented me since my sweet little self showed up on the doorstep almost 2 years ago. He is a Malti-Poo. I'd put the emphasis on the poo part. Every now and then I try to drop kick him over the rainbow bridge, but he must have 9 lives or something. He was a bit unkind to me when I was a baby, and I haven't forgotten it yet. The only time I tolerate him in my space is when it's that special girly time, and then I'm just not picky. Any male will do as long as he's breathing.

I do apologize for not introducing myself properly all around. It's all HER fault. She wouldn't know how to do a proper butt sniffy if her life depended on it. Anyways, thanks for letting me be your friend. I've met so many interesting dogs here and really enjoy leaving notes for everyone.

Butt sniffies all around,
Bonnie, the wee Scottie

I'm making up...

I've spent the last 2 days being a 'lapdog' ...(shudder). By my own choice even. Normally I avoid laps like Puffy avoids baths. Laps move. They're hot. Lumpy. They BOTHER me. I prefer my own space on the ottoman or the back of the sofa or the far end of the sofa or the other sofa way across the room.

But, I screwed up royally Thursday night. Normally I get to sleep in the king size bed with my peeps. I snuggle up to the Mr. and put the smelly end over near HER and occasionlly give her a shovey with my hind leggies. When SHE gets up around 3am for her noctornal bathroom run, I always zip over to her side and stretch out in front of her pillow where it's nice n toasty. Then when she comes back to bed, I put on my magic weight gain and instantly gain like 100 lbs, making it near impossible to move me back into the middle.

Well, Thursday....I just wanted to let her know it was MY spot dang it...so I marked it...doggie style, right about where her ginormous rear would hit it when she came back. I seriously miss-judged the amount of drama that would cause. All the lights came on, snarling n growling commenced (from the Mr's side), name calling ...something like PEEPOT....little WITCH....(I think it was WITCH, coulda been a word that sounded like that too)...covers went flying all over the room, I went flying into my crate, doors slammed, the washy machine cranked up....it was quite the event!

The next day SHE diss-ed me. Turned her back on me and wouldn't speak to me all day. Needless to say, my wee feelings were crushed. Friday night I snuggled up to the Mr. all evening hoping he would choose ME over HER. I sat on his lap, snuggled up on his chest. Gave him soft woofy kisses. It didn't help. I still spent the night in jail. Puffy snickered all night. He CHOOSES to sleep in his crate, but then his door isn't slammed shut n locked either.

So today, I've sat on HER lap. I never ever sit on her lap. She gets up n down all the time. But like the suck up I'm trying to be, everytime she plopped down, I crawled right up on her lap. At least she didn't toss me off (which I actually expected).

I'm just sayin'......sometimes....yah just grovel a little to get back in HER good graces. And hopefully back into the big bed. I think the jury is still out on that. I heard the Mr. say it took 3 times in the dryer to get the comforter dry. And he sounded a bit annoyed.

So I'm really pouring it on thick with HER. She's actually a softer touch than the Mr. I know I bothered her with my pitiful crying last night. She had to get up and get her IPOD to go to sleep.

If this doesn't work, I may need lock picking lessons so I can escape my crate.

Looky what came in the mail!

It's addressed to me!
And it's from those fabulously special Wire Fox Terriers, Jake n Fergi!
I can't wait to open it!

What's in here?

A cute plaid blankie! Isn't it smashing?

Lots more pressies!!! Sure smells YUMMY!

How about helping me out here? The knot is tight. I need scissors.

A chew toy fit for a Princess! And it's in my fave color.....PINK!

Yummy yum....these are soooooooooo good!

See the wee Scottie? Isn't he cute? Chock full of nummies too!

Wrapped in my plaid. Do I look like a proper Highland Lassie?

Parking it on my new blankie. I've never had my OWN blankie before. Isn't it beautiful?

Thank you sooooooo much for my prize pressies.....I'm just sooooo happy with them. It's like a barkday party! Ya'll are just the most wonderful foxies in the world!

Hugs, woofies kisses and sniffies all around!

I've been soooooo busy.....

....I got sooo tired, I fell asleep in my party dress. SHE had a big scrappy event this weekend, lots of class kits to help put together, lots of greeting people at the door, nummie nums dropped on the floor at lunch that had to be hoovered up, running around commenting on everyones layouts, looking in everyones bags to see what they brought, helping with ribbon application....gosh....it just got soooo tiring, I had to take a beauty rest nappy. I'm so behind on all my friends, I can't wait to read about the exciting trip to see Max, and check up on all my UK friends. Later.....tonite....after a loooooong Sunday nappy.
toodles.....Bonnie

We remember.....

.....and will never forget.

Wordless Wednesday

Just peeking in on everyone

I hope everyone has a wonderfull long weekend with their friends and family. Lots of yummie summer nummies like wally-melon, corn on the cob, dropped hot dogs and ice cream! We might be going to the beach later today if it doesn't rain. The Mr. said no more dog park until it dries up. White sand doesn't show up so bad in my furries. See ya'll soon!

Friend Friday

This is Puffy's best friend, Gator. He's a poop-too doggie. Schitzoo? Somethin' like that. When he comes over, they get silly and run around in circles and annoy the phooey out of me. Gator is intact and he likes to hump EVERYTHING! And for the record, when I'm not in the mood, I'm NOT IN THE MOOD! And I clamp my tail tight to my bum and sit on it. And if he doesn't STOP, I clamp my jaws of death around his scrawny little neck and sit on him. Eventually somebody notices he can't breath and rescues his scrawny little self. When a girl says NO, she means NO. Humph!

Please VOTE for Kira

Does that work? I'm not good at this.

Here is the URL just in case it's not clikky like it should be:

http://musketeers-mrdogmissbeauty.blogspot.com/

Today is the last day of voting. Please vote for Kira. She has very fluffy fanny furries.

My Aromatic HERBAL MUDBATH Spa Day

I just LOVE a good mud bath. It is soooo aromatic and great for sloughing off dead skin cells. It helps to keep the itchies down. And it's so much FUN! For me, anyways. The Mr. was apalled that his little Princess could actually enjoy getting her feetsies dirty! He's a bit of a priss anyways.


There were a lot of apres' mudbath shampoos at the dog park yesterday. I had an energetic hose down and then a swimmy pool scrub. Then I was wrapped in a warm towel and carried to the truck. When I got home, it took 2 more baths to get 'most' of the mud off. There is still a bit of grey stain around my ears.

But it was sooooo much fun, I was zipping around so fast it was hard to get a good photo. That, and the photographer was laffin ' HER aahh...well, not too much of it..still looks ample to me! It looked like I was leaving jet ski rooster tails sometimes. You can bigify this collagey thingy, if you'd like to see the process to get smooth skin.

Here is a photo of some really dirty girlie panty loons for Mango. Now he can say he has some DIRTY pictures.....teeehheee!

Tree Rat Watch

See that slidy door? On the other side is the screen porch or as the hoity toity say in Flori-duh, the lanai. Whatever that means. It's a porch and it's got screen around it. And there is a big ole Live Oak tree over on the right side...and in that tree live a family of SQUIRRELS!!!!!!

There wasn't a doggie door on the porch, so I added one myself one day when I'd had enuff of those tree rats. The Mr. replaced it, I put it back in. The baby Marine replaced it, I put it back in. The Mr. and the baby Marine replaced it 'special' and I put in a 'special door' the next day!
So now it's more like a doggie flap?

Anyways, these tree rats, they like to travel from the oak tree on the right to the palm trees that you can't see, way over on the left of the porch. And they like to hang onto the screen right under the edge of the porch roof.

I hear one now. Soon he'll come in sight.
Can you tell? I'm getting ready to launch myself out the slidy door.
Only problem is, the slidy door isn't open.

I've got a headache.

It's toooo HOT for walkies.

This picture is for the Relentlessly Huge...I understand he collects pictures of fanny furries. Girls in pantaloons. Everybody needs a hobby. I wonder if he lets the PeeWee see his collection?


Crazy WOMAN took me for my 3 mile walkie at 5pm today...it was so HOT I thought we'd not make it back home. SHE didn't bring her cellphone and it was obvious by the time we got 1.5 miles out we were both suffering. She couldn't call the Mr. to come fetch us in the truck. So we limped home best we could. I walked on the grassy verge and she switched from side to side of the road to try to stay in shade. We took lots of stop and pant breaks. It had been raining all day and the sun came out and made it STEAMY.



As soon as I hit the front hall, I stretched out on the cool tile. It took me a while to chill out. The Mr. had to bring us both water cuz we were wiped out. She was all red in the face. It's toooo flippin hot....will it ever cool down?


We left Puffy back home in the A/C. That was a GOOD idea. He'd have pased out from the heat.

I'm going to go soak my feetsies in the water bowlie.

Friday Fluff up!

First I wanna give a big ole shout out to Lacie for the great shopping tip on where to get a new Wonder Bra (EASY WALK) harness! They had it in the size I needed, S/M, and in my FAVE color, PINK!!!! Lacie...listen honey, it comes in PURPLE too! I'm a rather large breasted girlie, and I need a secure solution for when I go out, keeps everything held in...even me!

I'm not talking to HER (even though it was the Mr. that dropped me off at Miss Debbies on the way to work). That will teach her to send me to spa. I don't think she saw me in the play room with the 3 other doglets having a party after we were poofed, massaged, buffed and treated. Nah, she's not the fast, she couldn't have seen me flirting with that cute Pom. And she didn't give me the WHOLE vanilla Frosty at Wendy's, just 4 licks...big licks, but still, I thought the WHOLE frosty was for ME!

To make up, SHE retreived my new fishy off the top of the fridge where it was sleeping after I had a discussion with Puffers over just whose fish it was and that if he looked at it again, he was a dead dog walking. Can I help it that I just sorta brushed my teethies over his neck so he'd remember next time? He's really forgetful unless you give him a friendly reminder. Ahem. That's all I'm admitting to on that subject.

Now, if ya'll scuse me, I'm behind on my beauty sleep. Going to the spa is sooooo relaxing, you just wanna curl up and snoooozzzzzzzzze.

Have a fun weekend ya'll....I'm going to the doggie park in the morning to see all my boyfriends.

Party Hearty and stay cool.

My NEW sports bra

I went shopping yesterday and got a new sports bra....and I'm not sure I'm going to like it. I had an Easy Walk one but I outgrew it. I got the next size up and it was just too big. It was pretty and red though. This one is a cross your heart kinda getup and it goes under your pits. I'm concerned it might cause chafing or matting (I don't shave my pits...Puffers does, he's metro-sexual after all). Has anyone had any experience with this brand? It's called Canine Concepts. SHE says if this one is no good or bothers me, she'll see if she can get the Easy Walk one altered at the...get this....sail shop!!!!! The black leash is new too....kinda flimsy if you ask me....I'm thinking the first squirrel that crosses my path, this think is gonna snap and I'll have squirrel for din-din.

Puffy's Bath Day!

Cujo Lives! Actually, it's just Puffers doing his best to look menacing. Dude...yer wet n nekked! Maybe if you snarled a little with yer 3 remaining toofers, you'd scare someone, but not me!
Bathing Puffy is an ordeal and that's just deciding on WHO has to do it. First the Mr. n She argue for 2 weeks over who and when. Then the Mr. 'forgets' its bath day several times. Finally She has a hissy fit and suddenly it's today. It starts off with a happy pill for Puffy and a stiff drinky for the peeps. Then it's scrubby dubby time and snip n buzz all the mats out.

After his haircut, Puffy got his nose stuck under the sofa and stayed there till supper time. I think he was trying to squish flat and slide under there and hide. Maybe he's part Ostrich and thinks if he can't see you, then he's all hidden out of sight? Or maybe he's just senile and goofy.

I, of course, slept through the whole drama with the mama thingy.....way too much whining, growling, yelping going on....and that was just the Mr.!

I prefer going to the groomers where I get cookies and I'm treated with respect like the swift warrior princess that I am. Plus I like the way Miss Debbie makes my nails shine when she buffs them.

Public Service Announcement

It is the time of the year when we have Hurry-Canes.....so I am posting this for all ya'll folks that live in the cone of death areas (not to be confused with the dreaded cone of humility).

Hurricane preparedness for your pets :
Most public shelters do not accept pets. Therefore, it is crucial that you make plans ahead of time. Staying with friends or relatives in a non-evacuation zone is the best option.
Another alternative is to stay in hotels in a non-evacuation zone that are "pet friendly." Be sure to call ahead for reservations since they fill quickly.
And finally, if you can't find arrangements to stay with your pets, call a veterinarian office or boarding kennel to see if space is available.

If you leave your pets behind...
Be aware that your pets may not survive.
When frightened, they can escape through damaged areas or broken windows. They can die from exposur, contaminated food or water, or be run over by a vehicle.

If you don't have to evacuate...
Pets will be safest in a crate or carrier during the storm.
If your house is damaged, they could escape if not in a secure place. Once escaped, there will be no normal landmarks or scents, and they may not find their way home.
If you bring plants in your house, keep them away from pets since many plants can be poisonous.

After the storm...
Check the pets surroundings.
Walk your pets on a leash until they become familiar with their home again.
Check food and water for contamination.
Watch for downed power lines and other dangerous debris.
If you lose power, don't allow your pets to be around candles or oil lamps.

Pet Evacuation Kit
Collar, tags and sturdy leash
Medications
Medical records, current photo, immunization information
Food and water (minimum of two-week supply)
Ziplock bags for treats, toy, etc.
First aid kit
Pet carrier
Crate
Cat litter, scoop and pan
Plastic bags for waste
Paper towels for messes
Brush or comb
Muzzle, if necessary
Mark all belongings with identification

Wordless Wednesday